llewej irol (icarianbird) wrote,
llewej irol

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Strange Dreams

Last night, I had a strange dream. I don't remember most of it. I just remember feelings. This is a normal thing for me, but these feelings are extremely odd. I dunno.

Let me set what scene I remember. There was lots of sunlight and it was outside. Desert like (which I attribute to watching too much Kid Nation). I remember myself. I remember a big four-poster bed and lots of white - sheets, drape-like see-through cloth hanging from the posters, my own clothes as some sort of white dress. I always see myself much prettier than I am and much, much thinner, but I just say that's the inside-me. I remember a long chain from one of the posts that was attached to a slave collar like one would use in some sort of BDSM fetish. I was pulling this chain from the bed and draping it across the top of one of the posts as if things had just been finished. Now. I am not a BDSM kind of person, but I've thought/talked about it in discussions before. Just not my style at all. The collar was empty, but the impression of the person that was in it/it was meant for is still quite fresh in my memory. Now, why I would see the figure/impression of this person in my dream, I will never know.

And I honestly don't consider myself a dom. I do like being in control of my regular life, but sexually I'm quite reserved. I've had a little bit of a bad experience and it's kind of burned me out on sex for a bit. Now attraction seems to be a different story to my brain apparently. The rules I have set for my personal life seem to have changed and my brain is going absolutely insane. Perhaps I'm just attracted to any person who is treating me like an equal instead of an idiot? I just feel really weird about all this. It's funky. I've never experienced anything like it and I'm just going .... eh? 0_o

Well. Whatever it is doesn't matter now. Though the feelings from the dream are quite pleasant. They were peaceful and wonderful and I wish I could capture them. *sigh*
Tags: chains, dreams, feelings, fetishes, friends, inside-me, no details please, omg!, puzzled, relationships, sensations, strange, weirdness, white

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