June 22nd, 2003

[xkcd] Rapture

*Peeps Around The Corner*

...I just thought I'd check in and tell anyone who acutally reads my journal that i'm still alive.

This weekend was pretty good. Stephen's been to the docotor for his anxiety and is on 3 meds for it. They're having some pretty weird sice effects though. You know there's the basic ones... but they hit Stephen about 3x's as hard. Poor baby. For the first week, he slept. He slept through everything. Even me calling him 6 times in a row. I used Dustin's phone... thank god he let me use it. I'm still up here at Lyon College doing the APPLE Project thing. We've got about 2 weeks left... then there's a big trip on the weekend of the 4th. It'll be fun. I can't wait, but i just don't want to leave Stephen alone.

Stephen finally came to me and talked seriously about his problems. He's afraid of being around a large group of people. It causes him to have headaches and anxiety. And on top of that, he's afraid of being alone. It stems back to his childhood though. His parents always left him alone as a child and he's afraid that i'm going to leave him. I gave him my teddy bear that i sleep with every night. Its my comfort bear and i hoped that by giving him something that i hold so dear would show him how much i love him. I really miss my bear now... (*lol*)
Now i feel bad for everything I ever made stephen do though... now that i know about his problems. I wish he had told me sooner. *sigh* I just don't know what to do. I can't be with him 24hrs a day. I just can't. It'll drive me bonkers! But I do love him and i'm not going to leave him if he really needs me.

I'm watching Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory. Its one of the best movies... so cute. So old too. *lol*

Well... I just thought I'd check in. Maybe in an hour or so i'll leave another entry. I'm going to try to keep this thing updated a lil more. And i'm going to try to work on my other journals.


You should always check them out... ;)

  • Current Music
    willy wonka & the chocolate factory