June 10th, 2008

[ff] [tcs] [nm] 'i use my magic'


The way it's looking right now, I seem to be the only person interested in the two open positions in Chemistry right now. I'm excited. That means I could actually get one as soon as I work out this test thing. I have no will or drive to do it and that's sad. I need to do it so that I get my pay back, but my brain is just locked in a certain mode that will not allow for it.
Right now I'm in a great mood, but I consider that is because a) THERE ARE PEOPLE HERE!; and b) I've been moving around. Motion makes me happy. That's probably why I had such happy summers - I played sports like a mad woman. Never lost more than a few pounds and still was as fat as hell, but I was a very stationary object when it came to home plate. (I miss softball.)

I'm going to TRY to go for a swim in the morning because the pool is open and I just want to. Granted, I really need a new swimsuit (really, really bad), but I think I can deal with it. Even if I look bad, there's always a t-shirt or something. I just want to get into that water and swim about for half an hour or so. I need to do something to clear my head and get me going again. Everything gets to my brain and just dies there. I have no inspiration and no will to go forward. Just a feeling of 'it's all okay just how it is' and it's not. No. Nothing is fine this way. I'm tired of being so 'blah.'

And I miss my brother. I got to see him for like an hour before he had to head up to APPLE Project for the start of the summer session as Kelsey called him and practically went, "Where are you?!" -sigh- My little brother - not the brightest crayon in the box whatsoever.

How is everyone else doing? Lost you? Where'd you go? What's up? I'm trying to use my journal again as ... well. I paid for the damn thing.