llewej irol (icarianbird) wrote,
llewej irol

I am still alive. Checking mail at my friends' computer while we're in the middle of a WWE pay-per-view. No Mercy I believe.

Still no job. Still not at my grandpa's yet.

I am feeling better though... Kinda. I have lows and highs. Just depends on the day and what's bothering me. Working on the issues while I try to figure out what I really want to do. Today is a low day even though I'm hanging with friends. I think I may have forgotten to take my meds. Could be the problem, but I'm just feeling rather shitty and I can't do much for it. I'm trying to make a decision as to whether I wish to continue this whole internet "lifestyle" that I've got or if I just want to leave it all be. Take some time off and change all of my usernames/IM-names when I do decide to come back. Might be easier on me as well as everyone else if I just disappear and contact those who do want to be contacted by me when I finally decide to return... whenever that might be. -shrugs- Doesn't matter right now. I know I'm just in a depressed phase, but that doesn't make it hurt any less. Problem is, this means I'd need to clear off my entire friendlist and start anew. I kinda don't want to do that, but I kinda think it would be good for me. I've drifted away from Yahoo, MSN, and so just starting fresh on AIM with family and offline friends would be easier than anything. Plus, maybe I just need a change from the old me and into the new me.

I'll figure it out later. The one good thing is that I have 3,000 words written on something that is practically porn and I'm not even into it really good. Go me for expanding my brain. Trying to work on my anxiety for writing things that are out of my comfort zone. Porn and graphic violence are two of those things.

Okay... so... Alive and what could be considered well. Just wasting time and jobless. Enjoying my family though. I've missed them.

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