llewej irol (icarianbird) wrote,
llewej irol

Okay, so Saturday I took two of the HP flicks over to Stephen's - Goblet of Fire (as a recap) and Order of the Phoenix (because he hadn't seen it yet). That was good and great, but I've come to realize that night that I no longer am physically attracted to him. I mean, he's cute in that grungy 'how i like johnny depp' kinda way, but I feel nothing. He kissed me to try to get me to stick around and, honestly, I was not into it at all. I kinda wanted to be, but I just couldn't. I couldn't even make myself be into it at all. I think I've finally drug myself back over that 'just friends' line that we were trying to set for each other and so, maybe, I'm ready to find someone else?

While that sounds so very simple, it isn't. I'm painfully shy about dating. I always have been. I just have trouble with the whole thing simply because I apparently see guys as more of playmates than mates. Guys get better games and have more fun and so I automatically want to hang out with the guys rather than the girls whenever I'm with a group. It kinda sucks. I'd ask my brother to set me up with someone, but all his friends are gay. >_< Maybe I could just be a fag hag for a while?

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