I just finished watching a movie with my grandfather. I don't know the name of it, but it had something to do with the old radio shows. It was about a radio station (WKBN) and murders were happening. Oh, but that's besides the point...
Have you ever wished you were born in a different era than the one we are currently in?
I know I do. Don't get me wrong, I like the time I live in for the most part. The internet (which my father says is the devil incarnate) is the best way for me to keep up with my friends without constantly dropping by or calling all the damn time. MP3s are the soundtrack of my life and movies on demand allow me to sit at home and have a quiet evening without the idiots that go to the theater nowadays. But did you ever think you were really meant to be somewhere else? My mother always tells me that I'm an "old soul" and I do believe it. Twenties and Fifties looks and ideals appeal to me. I've always found them to be the most interesting and wonderful things. The mere mention of those eras stir up some kind of feeling inside as if I'm close to home, but just can't get there.
I wish I lived in an age were morality was a way of life rather than a life choice. Yeah, there are a few flaws in that, but I still prefer a time when family problems were taken care of behind closed doors rather than aired out in public. I mean, people actually worked on their marriages then rather than saying hell with it and going to get a speedy divorce. I admire pixienymph and skaloop because they have a very loving and well-kept relationship (makes it sound like a pet, doesn't it?). You guys have your issues, but you get through them, you know? Same with xkaliber187 and his wife. You guys have a good life so don't fuck it up, hear me? (hoojoe just got married so I won't say anything about his life until he's had at least 6 months to get into the groove. LOL @ 2 MONTHS!!)
I just believe that this whole time of openness and freedom is nothing more than a time of "I'll do whatever the hell I want and if you don't like it shut the fuck up." People don't know when to keep their mouths shut anymore. They don't seem to understand that when you do something wrong you're going to get in trouble for it. Thirteen-year-olds are having kids that their mothers are having to raise and aren't having to understand the consequences of their actions. My cousin had a baby out of wedlock. I'm not necessarily knocking that (Aiden saved her damn life and put her back on the road in the right direction), but I am saying that these things need to be done in the right order. You need to be in a committed relationship and be financially ready before you undertake something like that. My mother is constantly harassing me about the "grandkids she'll never have" and so that's one of the reasons I don't want any. I'm not going to have kids to please her need to be a grandmother. There's no fucking way. I think that's one of the reasons I resist. That and the fact that I just don't feel ready. When will a feel ready? Hell if I know. Probably when I'm too old to have them. I happen to think that there's a certain order to the whole process (dating, marriage, stability, kids) and, now that I've taken a huge step back in that order, there's no place for kids in my life. I always say kids (plural) because I believe that no one should be an only child. There should always be at least 2 kids in a family in order to make sure that kids understand the concept of sharing and playing fair. Only children don't always get that (Reference: Stephen).
I'm trying to get myself to use this thing for what it is rather than what I'm using it for. It's a journal, not a secret lurker page. I just don't ever feel like I have anything awesome to write about. I don't have much of a life beyond work and games. Here lately, the games have been lacking. I did manage to take an entire weekend off work for my birthday. It has been a really great vacation. I went shopping ($500 of new clothes), got my hair trimmed and styled, got my make-up done ($15 lipstick in my purse now and considering more after Christmas). Turned 27 on Saturday. xkaliber187, hoojoe, and my brother took me out (I say took me even though I drove) Friday and we had a pretty good time. I honestly believe I enjoyed the drive and conversation more than the Loony Bin though. It was just nice to hang with you guys. BIRTHDAY 001, BIRTHDAY 002, BIRTHDAY 003. I look at these pictures and say to myself "I'm not really that big, am I?" I think I need to do something about it, but it's hard to say what.
Need to clean my room again... UGH. I've put that off for two weeks and I just keep looking at it and sighing. :( I also need to get my pawpaw to get the tree stuff down from the attic. My aunt's gonna throw a hissy fit if we don't get that tree up in the living room. I'm going to suggest we put it on the porch... I wonder if that would work?
Anyway, I'm pretty happy with most of my life in general. Job is running smoothly now. Got some killer outfits going on now (mental note: do laundry). They were my "happy birthday to me" presents. Got $500 worth of clothes for $300. Quite pleased with that. And it's not like I'm paying for a brand name here. These clothes are some heavy duty shit. I haven't been able to ruin anything yet (well, if you don't count the stains and the one pair of pants with a bleach spot). Mom says I need to quit getting food on $35 shirts. I say that if she wants me to live in my clothes, then she'll leave me alone about the stains on the shirts. We'll go buy more now that I have a store I love! :D I'm being a good American and consuming. Isn't that what the economy needs right now?
The gifts that I opened at my mom and dad's included:
A black iHome for my room
A DVD copy of The Nightmare Before Christmas
Actually, not as awesome as I first thought. It was alluded as being H&S, but ended up having some RTS thrown in. Think Civilization meets a H&S game. I think you'll like it, Brian. I'll have to let you borrow it.
I also got a night light, but not just any night light...